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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092948">A hundred million reasons to build a barricade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stolperzunge/pseuds/Stolperzunge'>Stolperzunge</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Pacific (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst (because of the war), Burgie is a very good man with a lot of compassion, Canon-Typical Racism (tho not extreme), Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Character Study, Death (because of the war; nothing explicit), During Canon, Enemies to Friends, Friendship, Gen, Jay is french but doesn't speak the language, Snafu does but Jay doesn't like him, World War II, bad at rating so I went with mature to be safe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:21:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stolperzunge/pseuds/Stolperzunge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay bears the burden of being shipped out to Cape Gloucester relatively alone, though a company of Marines around him, he doesn’t have someone who he could call his buddy.<br/>Burgin is nice enough to look out for him here and there, but he already has a buddy and Jay can’t wrap his mind around why someone as kind as Burgin is friends with Snafu Shelton. Jay could never be friends with someone like him...<br/>The story of how Jay, Burgie and Snafu became friends while making it through Cape Gloucester, or rather how Jay learned to like Snafu and vice versa.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merriell "Snafu" Shelton &amp; Jay De L'Eau, Merriell "Snafu" Shelton &amp; R. V. Burgin &amp; Jay De L'Eau, R. V. Burgin &amp; Jay De L'Eau, R. V. Burgin &amp; Merriell "Snafu" Shelton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Heavy Artillery Holiday Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A hundred million reasons to build a barricade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/scramjets/gifts">uniformly (scramjets)</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Holidays and hopefully happy reading!</p><p>A big Thank You to my recipient for coming up with this prompt! It was a lot of fun exploring Burgie’s, Jay’s and Snafu’s time on Cape Gloucester and their friendship (it also got a lot longer than anticipated). I really hope I did this prompt justice and you’ll like it! It gets a tiny bit angsty here and there but they make it through!</p><p>I found a pretty decent source for what happened on Cape Gloucester, so quite some stuff in this story actually happened, mixed with other parts where I took a bit more artistic freedom ;-)<br/>Lieutenant Walt actually existed but his characterisation is completely fictional! I basically ONLY took his name because I thought of a lame joke and wanted to include it. I bet he was a very good man (or not idk). </p><p>Typical disclaimer: This is about the TV show and not the real men.<br/>English is not my first language, so if I screwed up somewhere big time, feel free to tell me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite everything, 1943 didn’t seem to end all that badly for the US Marines. They heard the news about the securing of the airfield on Cape Gloucester just yesterday. Now the 3rd Battalion 5th Marines would get their own chance of fighting to slowly but surely secure the whole island. Among them was Jay, standing on an amtrac to be shipped out into combat.</p><p>Jay liked the sea, the air, the beach, swimming. He didn’t like standing on this amtrac with a few other dozen men all that much, who were smoking, or praying, or heaving their breakfast onto the deck. He glanced over to where two of his comrades were standing. Snafu and Burgin were closely huddled together on the crowded amtrac. Burgie had a hand on Snafu’s neck, squeezing the exposed skin there as the other was retching. Jay clenched his teeth and looked away, the smell of Shelton’s vomit made its way over to him, the sweetly acid stench overlaying the fresh breeze of the seething ocean.</p><p>There was no denying it, when they got sorted into their squads and Romus Valton Burgin volunteered to be in the same one as Snafu, everybody pitied him for being paired up with one of the most irritating, disorderly members of their company. Merriell Shelton, better known as Snafu, was loud and crude and overall more of a nuisance than anything close to a reliable war buddy. Nonetheless Burgin, better known as Burgie, the quiet guy from his parents Texan farm, didn’t complain. He bore the burden of moving into combat side by side with Snafu Shelton with the same stoic calmness he bore most of the time. </p><p>Even during their time in Australia Burgie wasn’t one to get excessively drunk, shout or dance around, with a girl on each arm. He fulfilled his duties and then he disappeared to God knows where, returning with always the same very feminine perfume clinging to his clothes and nothing more than a very content smile. </p><p>The same couldn’t be said about Snafu. And his behaviour during their time Down Under was probably the reason why Jay thought so little of him. When Shelton got drunk on a nights out and was dragged back to their barracks, he started singing and babbling, slipping deep into his Louisiana accent and even worse into a mixture of English and French, or rather Cajun French, which sounded like its own thing entirely. He was unintelligible then and the other men used to call for Jay: “De L'Eau! Hey De L'Eau! Get your French ass over here! You have to interpret what Snafu is saying for us!”</p><p>That had happened every other week, no matter how often Jay told them that he didn’t speak French and even if he did he wouldn’t be able to understand what that bastard was shouting in pidgin French at three in the morning anyways.</p><p>How Burgin managed to keep a calm face when the other guys dumped Shelton into their shared barrack so he could maneuver him to bed was a miracle to Jay. Burgin was too nice for his own good. But then again it had been him who gave Snafu his nickname, when he saw him counting his money he had made during his countless gambling nights. He was the first to call him a “Snafu” and though Jay agreed that Shelton was a fuck up, his voice didn’t match Burgie’s sentiment when he used that name. No other men held the same sentiment towards Snafu as Burgie. He was fun when he got himself into trouble but other than that he was kept at an arm's length and Jay would never understand why Burgie let that feral war dog get so close to him.</p><p>He didn’t deserve it. And there was more to prove this, other than their time in Australia. Just this morning he had announced how he didn’t care if any of the other men would lose their lives, should they be attacked on the beach.</p><p>“I’m gonna shoulder that goddamn hussy”, Shelton had said, mouth full with the awful stuff they had called breakfast on board and motioned like he’d shoulder his mortar. “And I’ll step over every sorry motherfucker who’s stupid enough to get his head blown off.”</p><p>A few men had laughed, but others had looked down in silence, staring at their trays. They all knew that what Shelton had said would be their reality in just a few hours.</p><p>It was their reality right now as Jay looked back over to Shelton and Burgie, the latter clapping the others back. They could die in the next few minutes on a beach on an island nobody back in the States had ever heard of and not one of their comrades would stop for them. They’d trample over them, just like Shelton had said. </p><p>Jay liked the sea and the beach but he sure as hell didn’t like Snafu Shelton or the prospect of dying.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>For the luck of all, Shelton’s sinister forecast hadn’t fulfilled itself. The landing on the beach had been relatively uneventful, no chance of getting one's head blown off. Their war didn’t really begin until they got the order to push into the jungle to join the 7th Marines and make it to a stream called Suicide Creek to beat the Japanese to their attack. </p><p>The journey through the jungle was a terrible ordeal. The vegetation was so thick and the smell of all the foreign plants and the dampness of the air was clouding up their senses so much that they were in danger of losing their path. It happened a few times that a man got momentarily lost before he reappeared, soaked in sweat and his whole body trembling because he feared that he had gone missing in the jungle. </p><p>They were told to stay close to their buddies, to look out after each other and so they pushed further through the thicket. Jay’s nerves were on edge. Unlike the other men, he didn’t have someone he could stay close to, who’d look out for him. While everyone around him got himself a buddy he just stood on the sidelines and watched, <em> observed </em>, as his sisters always called it. And he regretted it, now more than ever. </p><p>He was bad at taking quick decisions, always has been. It took him <em> weeks </em>to fill out his service registration for the Marines and he carried it around with him for a couple of days longer before finally submitting it. Not because he was a coward, but because he liked to think things through. Overthinking them from time to time, just like he was overthinking his situation now. What if he’d go missing in a goddamn jungle before even getting a glimpse of the real battleground?</p><p>Back on the amtrac he had scribbled a few lines in a letter home about how he felt nervous and anxious about their first battle. How he wasn’t sure if he had made the right decision, that maybe he should have listened to his older sisters who told him not to go. But he had quickly ripped the paper before he could finish it or lose it for anyone else to find it.</p><p>In the last letter he got from his mother she had told him in her big, sweeping handwriting how proud she was and how much she loved and missed him. Jay swallowed thickly when he thought about it. He was her youngest child and his sisters never missed the opportunity to tell him that he was a Mama’s boy, but he was also the youngest in his whole immediate family, the only one who had the right age to get enlisted. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone.</p><p>She had continued to write that she wished for the new year to go well for him, considering the circumstances and that she would pray for him.</p><p>He appreciated his mother’s words, he really did, but he also liked to think about something different than the war for the few minutes it took him to read her letters, not reminding him of it. If he was lucky, the handwriting changed halfway through the letter and one of his sisters took over, usually his youngest sister, though still three years his senior, who didn’t miss a beat to tell him about all the trivial stuff that was happening back home, just like he had hoped for.</p><p>
  <em> Come back in one piece, we miss you, you little shrew. </em>
</p><p>That had been the closing of the last letter, he secretly carried in his breast pocket. <em> Shrew </em> was only one of the many names his brilliant sisters came up with for him. <em> <a id="return1" name="return1"></a><a class="hovertext1" href="#return1"></a> </em>, that’s what his mother used to call him when he was a little boy, while tapping the tip of his nose and of course his sisters had to take it to the next level when he grew up and started to annoy the hell out of them and made something different out of his childhood nickname. He took it as it was meant, as an endearment. And so Jay silently smiled to himself as he trotted forward, glad to have his three sisters back home and determined to make it back to them.</p><p>“What are you thinking of?”, Burgie asked right next to him through the glooming lightning of the jungle, making Jay jump. He didn’t realize he fell that far behind that he had mingled in with the mortar squads.</p><p>Burgie apologized when he saw that he had startled him. Jay waved his hand to tell him not to worry. “Just my sisters bullying me” he answered with a small smile. </p><p>Burgie hummed knowingly around his cigarette. “Younger or older?”</p><p>“Older, all three of them.”</p><p>“Three!” Burgie raised his eyebrows and looked behind them. “Sanfu, can you imagine? Your sister times three?”</p><p>The Marine looked up and shot a quick glance towards Jay before he answered with a grunt.</p><p>Jay must have been struck by some kind of bravery or jauntiness, but he turned to Snafu and asked him: “You got a sister?” </p><p>Maybe they could bond over this, their sisters, and get the awkward tension between them out of the way. After all he didn’t know that guy all too well, maybe he was alright under that abrasive shell, if Burgie liked him.</p><p>Snafu’s brows furrowed and he almost looked as if he wanted to bark something back at Jay, but then he just rearranged the mortar on his shoulder and held his head low, a nerve twitching in his jaw. </p><p>“He has”, Burgie said, quick, but smoothly, as if he was just making polite conversation, not taking the assigned role of the peace maker. “Snafu’s got one younger sister. I got five brothers, two of them younger than me.” </p><p>Jay craned his head back in Burgie’s direction. “So you’re six boys at home?”</p><p>Burgie shrugged, ashing on the ground between his feet. “Not anymore. My older brothers already got married and moved out, starting their own families. I’m the oldest still living at home, well, at least I’m living there if I’m not sweating my ass off on some island in the middle of nowhere.”</p><p>Jay smiled, more to himself. It checked out that Burgie grew up with a bunch of siblings. He always came across as patient and diplomatic. Someone you could turn to. As one of the middle children he probably had to negotiate between the demands of the older siblings and the needs of the younger. Jay saw it in his own sister, being stuck between her two sisters as they were growing up. She had always been too young to emancipate herself, too old to act like a child. Always trying to find the balance. </p><p>And Burgie was not only a middle child, he was the oldest brother to two of his siblings, the oldest currently at home, so he probably got a whole lot of responsibility handed down to him. If he handled his role as the big brother as well as he did the one of the Marine, then Jay was sure his siblings were very lucky and probably missed him a lot. </p><p>“Wait till you come home with Miss Florence”, Snafu said behind them a little mischievously. “You won’t live under your parents roof for that long anymore, Romus Valton.”</p><p>It was weird hearing Burgie’s first name, both of them even, they sounded so outlandish, that no one called him any other name than the trivialized version of his last name. Maybe because of that Burgie’s eyes crinkled and he laughed, but the slight pink tint to his cheeks was for sure caused by something different, most likely by the thought of being reunited with his sweetheart. </p><p>Jay, and probably the majority of their company, <em> knew </em>that Burgie had visited his girl during their off-time in Australia but it was as strange as it was nice to hear Snafu talk about it so openly. He and Burgie really must get along well, when he was in on the whole sweetheart thing, that otherwise was a - open, but still - secret to the rest of the company.</p><p>“Perhaps we’ll stay on the farm. Her parents are farmers as well, maybe she’d like it.” Burgie mumbled and Jay wasn’t sure if he was talking to either of them. “If not I’ll move her to the city, whatever she wants…”</p><p>“Stayin’ at the farm with your annoying ass siblings? She’ll be thrilled!”, Snafu joked and fished a cigarette out of his pocket.</p><p>Burgie rolled his eyes and fell a step behind to light Snafu’s cigarette so the other didn’t have to put the mortar down. “I’m good at handling annoying”, he said with a wink in Jay’s direction, who couldn't contain a snort. </p><p>“Just wait for it”, Snafu said. “We’ll be made men with the money we’ll get after we’re done here.” He motioned with his lit cigarette, as if he was drawing their bright future into the air. “You’ll be able to afford anythin’ you want for her.”</p><p>Burgie’s smile withered slightly from his face and he took a deep draw of his own cigarette. “Hopefully it will help a little.”</p><p>“I’m tellinʼ you Burg”, Snafu continued, eyes fixed ahead of him and an expression on his face which could be mistaken for honest delight. “When I get home, I’ll have enough money to rent a place for me and my sister. I’ll find a job and provide for both of us. I’ll send her to school, the whole way, until she finishes high school and then she can decide what she wants to do…” He broke off and chewed on his bottom lip for a second. “You’ll see, things will work out for us.”</p><p>Burgie didn’t answer and Jay just stared at Snafu in wonder. He never seemed to Jay as someone who’d waste a second thought on anything that didn’t directly concern his own affairs. It was strange to think of Snafu as someone with aspirations and hope, someone with plans for the future. Plans that involved things as mundane as a place to live and a high school education. Jay wondered exactly what circumstances taught Snafu this kind of humbleness and if Burgie came from the same kinda background, if Snafu insisted that both of them were going to be better off after the war.</p><p>“So, you two are in here for the money?”, Jay asked, kinda curious. His father has always said how the government was stripping their own boys naked. Sending them across the water, with nothing more than a rusty rifle and a clap on the back. That they’d get nothing for risking their lives, nothing that could compensate for what they had to do. But when Shelton turned his attention to Jay he instantly regretted having ever asked.</p><p>“Listen to that little shit talk, Burgie”, Snafu said and Burgin exhaled audibly. “What are <em>you </em>in here for, De LʼEau? The honor? The glory? A nice shiny medal?”</p><p>Jay felt heat rise up in his cheeks, he didn’t mean to offend anyone. He just wondered if the whole ordeal was worth the small reward of money they’d get in the end. He highly doubted it. And for his motivations? Well he didn’t quite know them either. When he had told his father that he’d join the Marines, he'd almost looked disappointed. That was not the reaction Jay had expected, not the reaction his fathers friends had shown. They were proud of their sons and Jay had hoped to make his father proud as well. But now Jay tried to be proud of himself.</p><p>“For my country”, he answered and looked Snafu straight in the eye. “For our freedom.”</p><p>Snafu let out a tsk, followed by nasty grin that looked as if he was baring his teeth at Jay. It was almost like watching a predator getting ready to play with his prey. </p><p>“Boy, your <em> gracious country </em> has been kicking my ass since the day I was fucking born.” He spat out with a tone that, even for him, was heavily disparaging. “Meanwhile I can tell you never had to worry for a single day in your whole goddamn life. Never had to work, never had to get by, never-”</p><p>“Oh get over yourself!”, Jay snapped and made Snafu shut his mouth. “My family struggled as well! We’re four children at home, my father served in the first war, my parents are both immigrants-”</p><p>“Immigrants!”, Snafu snorted. “You couldn’t name one thing from your parents' culture if your life depended on it, you don’t even speak their language, you <a id="return1" name="return1"></a><a class="hovertext2" href="#return1"></a>”</p><p>Jay stopped abruptly in his tracks so that Snafu bumped into him and almost dropped the mortar. Jay’s fists were clenched by his sides and Snafu seemed to be equally pissed off, as he stumbled backwards. </p><p>“Well at least I’m not stupid enough to think that a fucking war will make me rich!”, Jay bit out.</p><p>Snafu gritted his teeth and threatened to enter Jay’s space again. “Who are you calling stupid?!” </p><p>“Jesus, what’s gotten into you two?” Burgie placed his hand firmly on Snafu’s sternum. “This ain’t a competition!”</p><p>Snafu shrugged Burgie’s hand away, and continued to look at Jay as if he was planning on eating him alive. “And it isn’t his fucking place to talk!”, he griped.</p><p>Burgie slid in front of Jay, shielding him from Snafu’s field of view. “Leave it, Shelton”, he said in a leveled, but unyielding tone. </p><p>Jay peaked over Burgin’s shoulder to see Snafu staring in the other’s eye, brows heavily furrowed, jaw clenched, until he looked away with a huff. He turned to the side and stormed past them. The other men craned their heads curiously in their direction. Thanks to the muffling of every sound by the trees they probably didn’t catch that much of their dispute. </p><p>Burgie let out a sigh which could have been out of relief or disappointment, Jay wasn’t so sure, but when a NCO at the very front of their formation turned around to see what the hold up was, Jay hurried to keep moving, cursing silently to himself. That just drove a huge wedge between all of them. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>When they stumbled upon their first Japanese unit, all hell broke loose and they got to celebrate the new year a little late with a huge bang, followed by another and then another, until Jay couldn’t hear much other than a shrill whistling in his ears and strangely enough his own heartbeat, racing in his throat, almost making him sick. The whistling was caused by the sounds of all the weapons going off around him. Their riflemen in front of him, the mortarmen behind him, the Japanese firing back at them. Shouting from every other direction, orders and curses and words he didn’t understand. </p><p>Jay’s bazooka had laid heavy on his shoulder. He learned how to handle it in bootcamp just fine, the weight and the slight recoil, not from the launcher but from the sudden launch of the rocket itself. But using it in combat, the bazooka going off while he aimed at the enemy, the sound of the impact when the rocket hit its target, that cost him a very different kind of effort.</p><p>That not only made his ears whistle but his heart race. </p><p>Now that they had ceased fire for the night, Jay felt agitated. The adrenaline came crashing down on him after a day of stumbling around in the thicket and nearly biting the bullet, hadn’t it been for some random Marine, shouting a warning in his direction to save him from getting hit. He just asked himself: Would there always be men kind enough to look out for him in these live or die situations? Like one would for his buddy?</p><p>He knew the other men had his back, like he had theirs. The camaraderie among the Marines had always been something that impressed Jay, but it wasn’t the same as having someone by your side who belonged there and who you belonged to.</p><p>This time it had been Burgin, who had placed a firm hand on Jay’s shoulder, his piercing blue eyes on him, as he tried to bring him down with some soothing words after the fighting. </p><p>Shelton hadn't said anything when Burgin brought Jay along so they could dug into the same foxhole for the night, but he didn’t make a secret out of the fact that he couldn’t care less about Jay and rather he laid dead in the mud a few feet away from them or alive right next to him.</p><p>Jay involuntarily shook his head as he stared at the end of the foxhole where Shelton presumably dozed until his night watch would begin. He asked himself why Burgie did even bother with him, he really did. All of what Jay had learned about Snafu by now told him that he wasn’t just a strange guy, but a straight up asshole. What did he see in Snafu that made him be his buddy, being there for him when shit hit the fan?</p><p>Before he even realized it, a husky <em> How </em>escaped him and his head snapped in Burgie’s direction or where he thought he was, he couldn’t really make him out in the darkness of the night, startled over the sound of his own voice.</p><p>“Hm?”, came it back from somewhere in the dark.</p><p>Jay swallowed, he could just say nothing and leave it but… he actually wanted to know. He wanted to know why Burgie and Snafu were friends, or something close to that. He just couldn't see it. They were as different as night and day. Burgie was reliable and loyal, always an encouraging word on his lips. He was appreciated by seemingly everyone, hence the dismay among the company when he decided to be paired up with Snafu. </p><p>So he braced himself and whispered into the night: “How did you end up with him?”, and as an afterthought, “With Shelton?”</p><p>It took Burgie a moment to answer and Jay feared he might have overstepped a line, but then Burgie answered in an low deliberate voice: “Because we were both outcasts.”</p><p>Jay instantly furrowed his brows. He couldn’t think of a time when Burgie had ever been an outsider. Sure, he didn’t go drinking with the guys as much, back in Australia, but the other men seemed to respect that, he didn’t get made fun of or anything. Although there had been that one time… It came back to Jay now, a conversation with a man who knew Burgie since bootcamp, just like Snafu. </p><p>The latter was actually the topic of their conversation, since he got in trouble on one of his gambling trips. Shelton and the Australian locals usually got along well, sharing their love for playing cards and all that stuff, but when he stole the pennies from a Two-Up game just for the sake of it, he got beat up pretty badly by some locals. </p><p>Everything the other man had said about Burgin was just background information and Jay hadn’t thought much about it back then. According to the man, Burgie had always been the one who finished his tasks the quickest, whose weapon was the cleanest, his cot the tidiest. The man said it didn’t take long until he was ill-reputed as an overachiever, or even a boot-licker, someone who couldn’t be trusted in fear that he’d report anything he’d heard back to their superiors.</p><p>Burgie had never actually done that, but because he didn’t fight the accusations and was pretty quiet in general and <em>boring </em> in some people's eyes he was one of the outcasts for the longest time, until the company got to know his true colors. And now he was widely appreciated, he could have switched partners with every other guy from the mortar squad. It didn't make any sense that he was still stuck with Snafu. </p><p>Jay tried to tell him that, while struggling slightly for words and eloquently landed on: “But Shelton is… <em> Shelton </em>.”</p><p>Burgie chuckled quietly. “He isn’t all that bad”, he said and Jay had to suppress a disagreeing grunt. “He’s only acting like that because he was pushed to it.”</p><p>Jay knew Burgie couldn’t see him, but he couldn’t help himself from staring puzzled in the direction of the other man.</p><p>“I mean what would you do”, Burgin tried to explain, correctly interpreting Jay’s silence as confusion. “If you were a scrawny guy from New Orleans whose English is as slurred and hurried as his French, who's having this eerie aura surrounding him that makes people uncomfortable? Shelton rubbed people the wrong way as soon as he made it into bootcamp. And you know Shelton, if he’s getting made fun of, or pushed around he’s going to lash out to defend himself and so he became an outsider just like me, the teacher’s pet and the lunatic.”</p><p>Jay let that sink in for a minute. He got the feeling of rather being with someone than being alone, but was that worth it, sharing a foxhole with Shelton on the regular? He wasn’t so sure about that...</p><p>“And you couldn’t have ditched him?”, he asked as it didn’t seem like Burgie was going to say anything else unpromptedly. </p><p>Maybe that was cruel of him to ask. But Jay wanted nothing more than to have a buddy on his own. He was certain that he would feel a lot saver, a lot more reassured then. He was alone and men like Shelton had someone like Burgie to care for them…  It wasn’t fair.</p><p>Shelton’s words from back on the amtrac rang through his mind. He could die tomorrow in combat and lay there on the battlefield and no one would notice until late into the night, no one would grieve him.</p><p>“No”, Burgie said and he sounded pretty stern. “Shelton is a good Marine and he is a good man. We have quite some things in common, actually. We're both from the South, not that a small town in Texas and New Orleans have all that much in common, but Shelton knows what it’s like growing up in the South and all those Yankees in bootcamp didn’t.”</p><p>Jay kinda got what Burgie was talking about. On one hand it was interesting to be grouped in with so many people from all over the country. Like, he had only ever seen snow once in his life, other men had never seen the ocean before they got shipped out. All the different dialects they were talking in, other languages they were speaking. </p><p>But there were also tensions between the men from the different points of the compass. Prejudices against Southerners who in return were hostile towards Northerners. The people from the East Coast who constantly complained, the people from the West Coast who were preppy, all-American boys, to whom Jay would technically belong although he didn’t see that much of a typical Californian in himself. </p><p>They were all different and Jay had witnessed that some men deliberately stuck together just because they were from the same state or even cardinal direction.</p><p>“Snafu knows about the summer heat in the South”, Burgie continued. “He knows about the hefty food, about southern hospitality and huge dinners for the whole family and just a sense of community that doesn’t match the rest of the country…”</p><p>Burgie sounded lost in his thoughts for a second, Jay could hear the smile on his lips as he was listing all these things. He must be proud of his origin, not that Jay ever had a reason to believe something different, but he never heard Burgie talk all that much about home. After all he was rather secretive, like he was with Florence. That he told Jay about his siblings and now about his life in the South in general felt like quite an act of faith.</p><p>“He also knows,” Burgie said and his voice sounded a lot more bleak. “What it’s like growing up around poverty. When your parents debate rather or not you need a school education or if it would be more beneficial for them if you helped on their land or work in some factory to earn money for the household budget. He knows what hard labour feels like, when your back hurts every night you lie down to sleep starting from the age of thirteen, fourteen. He knows what it's like to try and prevend your younger siblings from having to endure the same fate.”</p><p>A heavy silence sunk down on them, it laid on Jay’s shoulders like a thick woolen blanket, one that was slightly staticky, making the fine hairs on his nape and arms stand up. So that was the reason why Shelton was so eager for the money they’d get for their service, why he was so peeved when Jay asked him about it and the reason why Snafu basically called him a spoiled child.</p><p>“I understand...” Jay said after a while, knowing that it was a pretty lame statement. It wasn’t a lie though, he could sympathize with Shelton, even though this hasn’t been his reality, he could sympathize with a man who was hardened by his past and who tried to turn his fate around. But he didn’t understand why Shelton had to be such a dick 99% percent of the time. </p><p>“You don’t know the half of it…” Burgie snorted, it wasn’t amusement, neither was it condescending, it was more of a ‘the boy doesn’t understand a thing, but actually that’s good, at least for him’. Jay knew that sound from his older sisters all too well. </p><p>“Shelton had it so much worse than most of us”, Burgie’s voice was back to a quiet, almost pained whisper. “I had to help on the farm every free minute of my life, but my parents were good to us children. They did the best they could and even though we struggled through some years I never went to bed hungry. </p><p>Shelton on the other hand”, he huffed audibly. “He had to learn to fight and fetch for himself from such an early age on… He probably slept more of his recent years in the streets than he did in an actual bed. The Marine Corps, the uniform, the cots, even the goddamn K-rations are an improvement for someone like him. A steady income, a place to sleep, more or less, and a daily meal.</p><p>Believe me, if you went through the same stuff he went through then you’d be either dead or just like him. You don’t survive the streets of New Orleans and come out on the other end as a ray of sunshine.”</p><p>Jay didn’t say anything to that. He felt terrible for what he had said the other day, because all Snafu probably heard was that even if he made it out of the war alive, it wouldn’t change anything. That he wouldn’t be able to help his sister or himself. But it was Shelton who insulted him first, Shelton who was this abrasive all of the time, whose every word could be followed with a click of the tongue to rile another man up.</p><p>The thought of Shelton as a caring individual in the civilian world was still almost unfathomable. This man who held himself so strangely, with his mean smile and wide eyes, who seemed so out of this world, so ill-fitting. He was the member of their company who constantly brought other people down as if he was participating in a competition and eager on winning… It was hard to believe that he didn’t just drop from the sky, or maybe sprung from the darkness of the earth, with the sole purpose of making everyone's lives turn to the worse. </p><p>And still Jay, who spent so much time observing, didn’t catch Snafu’s more caring side and it made him think that there were probably so many things more he never noticed about other people, who he just characterized as something they were not. He felt bad, because of what he had said, but he also felt bad <em>for </em> Shelton. And he  knew the other would <em>kill </em> him if he ever suspected that he was pitied.</p><p>“You hear that?”, Burgie asked all of a sudden in a strained whisper.</p><p>Jay startled up, fumbling for his rifle. What was it? Japs? Were they breaking through? Did they speak too loud? Did they give away their position?</p><p>“Silence. Now we definitely know that he’s sleeping, otherwise I’d be dead for telling you all this”, Burgie chuckled. </p><p>“Fuck Burgie, you really scared me for a second”, Jay groaned and sank back into the mud. He thought they were being attacked and Burgie just decided to be funny. </p><p>He laughed very quietly and Jay felt his boot nudge against his own before he fell quiet and Jay thought their conversation was done for the night but then Burgie spoke up once more, the gloominess creeping back into his voice:</p><p>“I just hate how much Shelton is his own worst enemy. How he constantly pushes people aside. I know he gets mean and grumpy and angry, but there is so much more to him than what meets the eye...”</p><p>Jay opened his mouth to say something. He didn’t want to protest, he didn’t dare to after all that Burgie just revealed about Snafu. They really did have a bond, a strong friendship, between them and Jay realized that it wasn’t his place to judge. If the two of them found each other, not only during a difficult time, but stayed close even for their battles, then his opinion on Snafu didn’t really matter all that much. </p><p>But before he could say anything in that direction, Burgie beat him with a: “We should try to sleep now, Jay. Tomorrow’s gonna be tough.”</p><p>Jay wasn't quite ready to let the whole topic slide, but Burgie sounded exactly like his oldest sister when she was done talking to him. And when she told him to do something, she meant it. So Jay crouched a little more into the mud and rested his head against the wall, mind racing with all the stuff he just learned, as he paid far too much attention to the jungle with all its strange and foreign sounds. His eyelids began to feel heavy, the adrenaline almost completely gone but he wasn’t sure if all these jungle sounds would let him find rest that night.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It had been kind of a blessing, operating long-range weapons during their past assaults. Jay got to stay in the back, he didn’t get to see the enemy face to face, even though he still knew what his weapon was doing and he saw the impact it caused. But it became obvious that the humidity made it almost impossible to use a bazooka. Jay needed to switch over to the rifle. It was nauseating him, thinking about the pictures he’d get to see.  </p><p>Otherwise Jay felt a little like an empty shell. He didn’t dream when he slept, he didn’t think about his family, he didn’t talk to the other men, he just operated and followed orders. His head told him that this made a very good Marine out of him, his heart told him that all of this was wrong. </p><p>After they made it past Suicide Creek they were aiming to capture some hill or whatever. Jay wasn’t so sure and he didn’t really care. He would have never thought that he could become so used to it, the whole fighting process. He fell asleep in the mud and rose from the mud, got his weapon and started moving, or shooting, depending on which kinda situation they had left the battleground in, the night prior.</p><p>But something very special had to be about that hill because the Japanese were fighting relentlessly. The Marines kept firing all their ammunition on them but so did the Japanese and it didn’t seem like they’d budge in the next foreseeable future. The men got tired and tiny mistakes happened which ended quite badly one night after they had been fighting for at least twelve hours on end. Their commanding Lieutenant got hit and had to be removed from the battlefield. </p><p>It was <em> fine </em>, Commanders got hit all the time. Of course they were concerned for their Lieutenant but the wound wasn’t deadly and his executive officer was right there to take over the command. And so they kept on fighting. </p><p>Jay felt the sweat pool in his shoes, his uniform was soaked with it. The temperatures were tropical as always but he felt his teeth clanking against one another, as if he was suffering from a heavy shiver attack. Every time he tried to aim, the barrel of his rifle was shaking so violently that he didn’t have any control over it. He had to step away from the frontline, for a few seconds, his back pressed against one of their defense walls to catch his breath, to <em> try </em>and calm his nerves. </p><p>Back in the jungle he heard the voices of the mortarmen, shouting the coordinations for their rounds. After every <em> Hanging! </em> followed a loud explosion, the intervals of the firing making it sound like heavy thunder was rolling over their heads.</p><p>Jay wondered where Burgie and Snafu were, he wished that both of them were well. </p><p>Just when he wanted to run back to the front he heard voices shouting “Major wounded! Major wounded! Corpsman!”</p><p>Jay stopped in his tracks, hands clasped around his rifle; he stood there without any cover, unable to do anything until he heard the shouting again. <em>Major wounded. Corpsman.</em></p><p>Turmoil started among the men. Their second commander got taken out as well. The Japs were winning, they were winning, they’d take them out one by one! Jay hecticly searched for cover and stayed there. No way in hell would he go out there again when their superiors dropped dead like flies. </p><p>For a few terribly long moments there seemingly was no one who felt responsible for them, who’d give them instructions on what to do next, until Jay heard Smith, the man who was leading their rifle squad, shouting over the rapid fire of the Japanese not far from him. Soon they were all kinds of men, the respective leaders of their squads, shouting for their men to gather and continue their assault. </p><p>Jay wanted to return to Smith and the other men, he wanted to resume his task, but he couldn’t. His knees were awfully shaky and the stench of blood and sulfurous made him sick. He tried to count to ten, to calm himself, but tears began to sting his eyes as soon as he reached ‘three’. </p><p>He was scared, he was so scared, scared, he was scared, he-! Suddenly! And he was absolutely sure of that, he heard Burgie’s voice, shouting from within the jungle. Jay couldn’t see him in the darkness, he couldn’t see shit with all the trees and bushes and smoke and tears blurring his eyes. </p><p>But he heard him, he heard Burgie encouraging the mortarmen to hold their formation, to await orders and when he heard an especially thick southern <em> son-of-a-bitch </em> travelling through the air, he was sure that both Burgie and Snafu were alive and keeping the flag flying. What kinda Marine was he, if he didn’t do the same?</p><p>Jay screwed his eyes shut for a second and stormed out of his cover, making a beeline to where he had left Smith and his squad behind. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t have to wait for official orders all that long after their Major got wounded and the squad leaders took momentarily over. The 7th Marines Lieutenant took them under his wing for the rest of the night, until he told them to cease fire.</p><p>Them and the Japanese completely burned out. At least they made it through the night without any further major incidents.</p><p>Jay had passed out in a foxhole with some of the riflemen. The Battalion of the 7th Marines, who occupied the sidelines during the assault, had taken over for the night watch so that the 5th Marines could get a “decent” shut eye after the heavy combat and temporal loss of two of their commanders.</p><p>He just woke up when some guy told him that they already named a new commander, a Lieutenant called Walt, who wanted them set and ready in the next hour, so Jay started to gather his stuff, checking his rifle. Even walking over to where his bazooka was stored to make sure it was in the right condition as well. You’d never know, maybe he’d need it today. Even though he doubted it, the weather was sweltry and unpleasant as always. The risk of wet rockets and misfires far too high.</p><p>When they got together in their squads they all received the message that they’d resume their attack from the previous day, but that they were supposed to make it out of the jungle as fast as possible. Walt wasn’t playing around, he wanted to capture that hill and he seemed determined to reach that goal in the next 24 hours or so. </p><p>The 5th Marines soldiered on and got moving, joining the 7th Marines at the frontline. It was the same dirty business as the day before. But they were slowly breaking through the jungle, Jay occasionally had to squeeze his eyes shut because the daylight seemed blazing in contrast to the dusky lighting under the jungle leaves they had fought and slept under for days.</p><p>It took about noon time for them to move completely out of the jungle. Lieutenant Walt greeted them at the edge of the jungle, shouting “Move! Move! Move!” and motioning to a steepening slope that was sprouting out of the ground, in an almost 90 degrees angle.</p><p>The men strapped up their weapons and their gear and started running up the natural serpentines of the hill, or more like climbing, with their hands grasping for every ledge, every little plant that could offer them support while getting up the hill as fast as possible to get away from the Japs and their marksmen.</p><p>Jay didn’t see no one when he was running through the jungle, trying to hit as many of the enemies as possible. The only man he could make out in front of him was Smith and he would be his point of orientation until they’d get to a safer territorium.</p><p>When he reached the foot of the hill, he turned around briefly, but saw neither Burgie nor Snafu. He then dug his fingernails deep into the side of the hill and started climbing. They were somewhat shielded from the Japs at the bottom of the hill now, but the ones on the top, in their bunkers had the perfect view to aim at and eliminate them, like flies on a kitchen wall.</p><p>“That fucker is going to kill us!”, someone suddenly called right next to Jay.</p><p>He almost lost his footing as he looked to the other man. “Shelton!”, he called over the noise of the ongoing fire, the sound of bullets hitting the stone just inches away from them. “The hell are you doing here?” He thought the mortarmen were behind him.</p><p>Snafu pulled himself up on a thick twine and motioned with his head behind him, where a rifle was strapped to his back. “Walt kept Burgie with him, he’s still down there, helping that motherfucker of a Lieutenant to get the men up here.”</p><p>Jay risked a glance back down, but hurriedly averted his eyes back up again. They had climbed quite some distance, the ground wasn’t visible because of the smoke from the slip rock that came down from the hill as a whole Battalion in full gear was climbing its walls, but Jay could see the top of some of the smaller trees.</p><p>“Fuck…”, Jay said rather quietly.</p><p>“That’s right!”, Snafu barked. “I swear this <a id="return1" name="return1"></a><a class="hovertext3" href="#return1"></a> is going to kill us!”</p><p>And with that he was climbing faster, leaving Jay five feet or more behind him on the wall. Jay hated to admit Snafu’s prediction didn’t seem to be that far off.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It had to become dark again before Walt let them rest. They had dug a trench into the muddy side of the hill and under a bigger ledge like absolute madmen. Jay still could feel the exact muscles pull in his shoulders that he felt while shoveling the mut and hefting it over his head down the hill.</p><p>Everything hurt and his head was throbbing from all the physical exercise but also from the constant sounds of machine guns and rocket launchers and God knows what going off. Even now they got occasionally shelled at. The Japs in their bunkers tried to make out exactly where they were staying. It was a gamble, staying at this hill and waiting for the Japs to find them.</p><p>It felt like an eternity since it had been morning, even more so when Jay tried to think back to last night. Two commanders got wounded during their attempt of securing the hill and now they were sitting on it, meters away from the top and the deadly Japanese bunkers. Jay wasn’t sure if that was a triumph or just straight up madness.</p><p>He just knew that Walt had gathered all the best men of the Battalion to help him reach his goal. Most of the men were the ones who had taken over the command the night prior, for the short amount of time there had been no superior to command them. Burgie was among them, which shouldn't be a surprise, even before that fateful last night he had been one of the best men in their company, but it was still hard to not have him here with them.</p><p>Especially for Shelton. He hadn’t said a word to Jay after he saw him last on the wall of the hill, he had not spoken in general since they had dug in for the night. </p><p>When Jay turned a bit more to his right, where Snafu was sitting next to him, it was just enough of the sunlight left, that Shelton looked small and almost a little lost in it.</p><p>Jay eyed him for a second and then asked in a quiet voice: “You’re alright?”</p><p>“ʼM fine”, Snafu answered after a beat, but it was pretty curt and he didn’t bother to look back at Jay. </p><p>Jay kissed his teeth. He couldn’t expect all that much from Shelton, other than their very brief exchange on the wall, their last real talk had been the stupid argument they had in the middle of the jungle. There was no reason for Shelton to believe that they were on better terms with one another.</p><p>Whatever Burgie’s words about Shelton did to Jay, the change of perspectives wasn’t mutual. Shelton didn’t learn anything new about Jay and Jay couldn’t risk letting any of his new knowledge he got through Burgie slip in front of Snafu. Burgie would be so much better at this, talking to Shelton.</p><p>“Where even <em> is </em>Burgin?”, Jay asked. Technically he already knew the answer, but maybe Snafu had different information. If Burgie would return to them the following day for example. </p><p>“He’s still with the new Lieutenant”, Shelton murmured. “Walt or what’s his name.”</p><p>“Yeah Walt is right”, Jay said a little absentmindedly. He wondered for how long this hill ordeal would go on if Walt still kept their squad leaders with him. Unwilling to think about stuff that wasn’t in his control either way and prompted by Shelton’s gloominess, he tried to joke a bit: “Walt, like the guy with the mouse.”</p><p>Shelton snorted and his big eyes rolled under his eyelids so that only the white of his eyeball was visible as he was gracious enough to turn halfway towards Jay.</p><p>Jay smirked back at him a little awkwardly. The corner of Shelton’s mouth twitched for just the fraction of a second, his heavy-lidded eyes becoming almost soft, until he guarded his face back into its usual blasé mask.</p><p>“I hate this guy”, Snafu said in an extra low voice. “That mouse fuckig son of a bitch risked our lives today just because he wants to get his medal the fast way!”</p><p>Jay swallowed down his smile. “I bet he has his orders as well…”</p><p>“Fuck his orders!”, Snafu hissed and leaned forward, so that only Jay would hear him and spit in a fast hot tone: “Fuck all their orders! It’s not their asses who get shot up, it’s not them running for their lives, climbing up some hill like cockroaches on the flight.” </p><p>His mouth was a hard line, the creases between his brows cutting deep into his skin, making his young face look bitter and exhausted. </p><p>“We’re gonna die, Jay. I know it…”, he swallowed thickly and cast his eyes down. It looked almost sheepish the way he ducked his head and leaned away from Jay. As if he just realized what he had said.</p><p>Gone was his bravado, his confidence in returning home. Seemingly used up after the nights and days of heavy combat. As much as Jay had been annoyed by Snafu’s constant rambling about how he’d make it home and his indifference towards the fates of the other men - if he even meant what he said about them - it was still disillusioning to hear him talk like that.</p><p>Because even during the time when Jay couldn’t stand Snafu, he always listened to him with the kind of sentiment that was like: If this guy makes it home, so will I!</p><p>And now not even Snafu dared to believe that he’d make it home. He sat there in the mud and looked as Jay felt deep inside. Hopeless.</p><p>“Hey…”, Jay said and scooped a little closer to Shelton, but he didn’t make it far until Shelton’s eyes were back on him, as wide and feral as they were most of the time.</p><p>“Don’t you dare look at me like that, De L'Eau”, he hissed. “Or I swear I’ll push you down that hill, doesn’t matter if we both croak!”</p><p>Shelton looked like a caged animal, like a scared cat that was hissing at some stranger. Jay turned his palms up towards him and backed away. Not that he was actually scared of Snafu, he just wanted to give him some space. It would be no good to try and get close to him now.</p><p>Shelton returned to his leaning position against the trench where he stared into the growing darkness ahead of him.</p><p>Jay sighed quietly. After all they were still just two guys who had an argument. Jay wasn’t Burgie, he wasn’t Snafu’s buddy. And if he was completely honest he was too tired to handle the baggage of another man. He had enough on his own mind after Shelton watered the sprout of the fear that was growing inside him. He’d be occupied to fear for his own life, think about his own family he’d maybe never get to see ever again.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Maybe someone up there wasn’t all too happy with what they were doing because on top of everything, being perched up on a hill, surrounded by Japs, with combat fatigue making them all erratic, it also started raining.</p><p>Walt had solemnly proclaimed in the morning that they had indeed found and climbed the hill they had searched for all along. Jay had heard Snafu snort dismissively at that a few meters over. </p><p>“It better be the right goddamn hill, if we risked our lives for it…”, he'd grumbled as a few men turned around to him. But one glance from Shelton was enough to make them hurriedly look away.</p><p>Walt seemingly hadn’t heard anything because he continued to say that they would chase the Japs in their bunkers away so they could hold Aogiri Ridge in American hands.</p><p>But to achieve that they needed firepower, heavy firepower as it turned out. The firepower of tanks that wouldn’t get up the hill even if they were the personal favorites of whomever steered their fortunes (and drenched them in tropical rain). </p><p>Sadly no officer’s brain had been big enough to figure that out before they got a whole Battalion up that godforsaken hill. The whole company came to a halt at the highest point they could reach before they’d need a tank to break through the Jap bunker’s.</p><p>Walt was frantically trying to correspond with the other units who still held the foot of the hill and the jungle, he was stressing the other men to get a line ready for him and sent other’s back down the hill to deliver messages to the other officer’s.</p><p>Burgie was still nowhere to be seen, he either had to be with Walt who let not show his face as he was trying to fix the issue of being stranded on the hill, or maybe he was even under the unlucky few who were sent back into the jungle. Jay hoped for the first option to be true.</p><p>That was the only thing he managed to be hopeful for, all other hope had left him. They really managed to get them trapped up here with the Japs only a few feet ahead of them in their safe bunkers, with their weapons set up, while they just stood around, once again short of orders on what to do, how to defend themselves the best way until the tank issue would be fixed. All the while the rain kept on pouring and turned their only way back and down the hill into an actual slippery slope. If they’d need to retreat it would be a miracle not to break one's neck while making it down there.</p><p>Snafu seemed to stay away from the other men deliberately, Jay didn’t really try to get close to him but he was sure that Shelton wouldn't have let him either way. It was very apparent that he struggled with the harsh reality of their superiors taking decisions that were hard to get behind. Back in the jungle they just had to push through, taking over more and more land. Every step felt like a small victory, but now they were caught between a rock and a hard place, it was hard to think of another reason why they had to get up Aogiri Ridge this fast and this unprepared, if it wasn’t for some Lieutenants medal...</p><p>The situation didn’t turn for the better when Walt let the Marines assemble to share the presumably good news with them that he had come up with a plan to break through the Japanese lines without the help of a tank. </p><p>“Boys”, Walt said in his seemingly common ceremonious pathos as he positioned himself in front of their company. “As you all know we can’t get a tank up here, but one of the other Battalions has a smaller, lighter 37mm gun available.” The company didn’t react, a 37mm gun was still <em>heavy</em> and they’d still need to somehow get it up the hill, but Walt already had a solution for this problem as well. </p><p>“These gentlemen”, Walt said and motioned with his hands towards the line of men who were standing behind him, like a king would point at his most loyal subjects. “Will be the brave men who’ll get us out of our misery. They’ll be sent on the mission to get the 37mm gun.” Jay’s eyes went down the line of men who just got pointed out and for the first time, in almost two days, got a glimpse of Burgie who looked utterly miserable. “With that, the Japs will be done in the matter of hours and Aogiri Ridge will finally be ours!”</p><p>Walt looked very pleased when he finished his talk, in his ears that sounded like the perfect plan. Sending some of the men down the hill, on the already pretty much non-existent trays that had been completely flooded so that they could push the weapon all the way up again, through the mud once more and awfully slow, the perfect target for every Jap and his sniper rifle. </p><p>As if it wasn’t worse enough to sacrifice his men like that, Walt also picked mostly squad leaders for this task. Walt didn’t just choose the most loyal, but also the most capable ones. They’d be lost without them if they’d actually manage to break through and attack the Japs. Smith was among them who was pale as a sheet in the face and, of course, Burgie, who didn’t even look up when Walt was speaking.</p><p>“Bullshit!”, it came from somewhere behind Jay. He turned his head, like nearly everyone did, but he couldn’t make out which of them had called that. Jay turned back around to see an obviously irritated Walt scanning the crowd to find the man who dared to speak up.</p><p>“Who was that? Who said that?”, he demanded to know.</p><p>“It was I, <em> Sir </em>.” And now it was completely clear to whom that voice belonged to. </p><p>The men parted and Walt let his eyes dismissively glide over the man who remained in the middle of the crowd.</p><p>“Name?”, he asked.</p><p>“Shelton, Sir. Merriell Shelton.” Snafu stood among the other men, but still alone. All 5 foot something of him against their commander, his head held high, shoulders squared, his skinny chest heaving with every breath he took.</p><p>Jay feared for the worst when Walt made the couple of steps towards Snafu and a quick glance towards Burgie told him that the other was fearing the same. Shelton could easily be disciplined with a military lawsuit for this. </p><p>“Care to elaborate your statement?”, Walt said, stopping in front of Snafu with maybe just a foot between them, so Snafu had to turn his head up to look in the eyes of his Lieutenant. </p><p>“I said it was bullshit, Sir”, Shelton began to speak in a voice that was more contained than Jay would have ever thought Shelton was capable of. “That you’re sending our best men on a death mission.”</p><p>A murmur went through the other Marines. Jay was almost sure that he heard some agreeing with Snafu. Burgie on the other hand furrowed his dark brows deeply. It was very likely that he thought just what Shelton had said, especially when he was one of the men who were about to attend this death mission, but he also knew that it was no good to argue with a superior which was probably the reason why he stood there in the first place, merely following orders.</p><p>If Walts collar began to feel a little tighter around his neck, he did a decent job to hide it. He let his eyes wander once again over the Marines and they quieted down. Then he turned his attention back to Shelton, staring down on him in an attempt to intimidate him. But if Shelton was intimidated by every man who was taller than him, then he would never dare to speak up and so he just stared right back at Walt with an expression on his face that couldn’t look more unfazed.</p><p>A nerve twitched in Walt’s jaw when he saw that and he instead averted his eyes to look just over Snafu’s head so that he could focus on the other men as well. “Shelton”, he began “I don't expect someone like you to understand the regulations and matters of honors of the war. But I’d advise you to keep your thoughts to yourself or I’ll let you get court martialed as soon as I’ve prevailed over the Japanese and captured that goddamn hill.” </p><p>Jay saw how Shelton swallowed, gaze still turned up to Walt.</p><p>“Understood?”, the Lieutenant asked smugly, knowing damn well that Shelton had no real choice other than to agree, if he didn’t want to get into real trouble.</p><p>Snafu knew that as well and his shoulders just slumped the slightest bit, before he took a deep breath and pressed an <em> understood sir </em> out through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Very well, then get it rolling boys!”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>And so Walt’s <em> brave men </em> began their descent down the hill to get the gun. They didn’t get to speak to them before they were gone. Jay tried to reach Burgie and if only to wish him good luck, but he didn’t make it to them before he got his own orders and he wasn’t sure if Burgie would have even listened to him. The last thing he saw of him was a glimpse of his guarded face, his eyes looking clouded.</p><p>Jay took up his position then. One half of the company positioned on the outer half of the ledge they had stayed at since last night to make sure nothing stood in the guns way, the other half posed on the inner ledge to observe any movements coming from the bunkers. Right now they were ordered to keep it quiet to not draw any attention towards them while the gun was supposedly pushed up the hill. </p><p>Walt gave the order to give every Marine who could handle them, their bazooka’s back. That everything was still slightly wet and the danger of misfires were still very much real, didn’t seem to bother him, like no other man’s safety bothered him. So Jay positioned behind some stony rampart, his bazooka loaded and ready to support the fire of the 37mm gun as soon as it would get there.</p><p>The remainder of their squads had become an awful mismatch not only because their leaders were gone but because almost every man was assigned to rifle duty and sorted into random squads. It was by complete chance that Snafu ended up the rifleman who was supposed to guard Jay as he was firing and reloading his bazooka.</p><p>It was almost impressive to see him civilly crouch right next to him, with his rifle aimed at the bunker just as they were supposed to be. After Walt had dispersed the assembling Shelton had disappeared into thin air, he didn’t even try to speak to Burgin, like Jay did. He must have stormed right off. It was completely unrealistic, but Snafu had appeared so pissed off and Walt had treated him so poorly that Jay almost, <em> almost </em>was ready to hear the news on Shelton’s very own descending down the hill to get out of this accursed situation.</p><p>Maybe his outburst had been nothing more than that, a sudden discharge of emotions after they were running on fumes for a little more than an eternity, with no real compassion from their commander. But there he sat, seemingly ignoring Jay, but fulfilling his duty. To be fair he didn’t make all that great of a picture. His expression looked hardened under the brim of his helmet and he appeared to be withdrawn into himself. </p><p>Jay rearranged the bazooka in his hands, they were beginning to form calluses, so it was both easier and in some parts more painful to constantly pull the trigger, or hold the barrel of his rifle. It was a clear sign though, that his body got used to all this, the war. He couldn’t say the same for his mind. He felt kind of blunt, like he didn’t have a care in the world any more. Maybe he cared to stay alive until the next resting phase, but he had a hunch that this happened more out of reflex than on his own volition to actively try and stay alive. </p><p>He tried to think of something different, something that could trigger his will to make it through the night. Like his hometown and his family, his mothers voice and his sisters loud laughing when they were sitting on the swing in their garden. But everytime he thought he’d recollect his hometowns smell or the sound of carefree laughter, the impressions of his immediate environment took over all his senses. The mud around him, the jungle beneath him and the sorry figure of Shelton right next to him. Jay wondered if he too tried to remind himself of home.</p><p>What did Shelton think of, when he thought about home? Did he think of New Orleans’ music, its food? They had that thing there called Mardi Gras, right? Maybe he thought about that. Did he think about his sister, like Jay thought of his?</p><p>If they could see him now, still soaked in rain that thankfully had lessened to a dripple, coated in mud and gunpowder and probably blood. Would they still welcome him home after all he had done? Would they reach out for and hug him?</p><p>“This is all shit!” </p><p>Jay refocused his gaze back to Shelton who was still sitting on the ground in his unchanged position. The night began to creep up on them once more, the second one on this hill. They might as well bite the bullet just now, it didn’t feel like they would ever get off there again. It was getting dusky but Jay could still see with what pure force Shelton was clutching his rifle, his knuckles paper white against his usual tanned skin.</p><p>“It’s all pure shit!”, he hissed again, quietly. Jay was sure that no other man could hear them, with them being posed behind that rampart at the far end of the ledge. </p><p>Jay hesitated to react to Shelton’s cursing. As long as he wasn’t too loud it was maybe good to get it out of his system. The argument with Walt, the anger towards their Lieutenant’s dumb decision to send Burgie and the other on their death mission, the dawning understanding of the difficulty of suviving a war, no matter how much confidence one claimed to have. </p><p>But Shelton didn’t keep it quiet, first he started to hit the stone with his rifle again and again so that Jay was about to take it from him, before he started screaming: </p><p>“THAT’S ALL SOME PURE FUCKING HORSESHIT!!!”</p><p>Jay didn’t waste a second, he let the bazooka slide down his shoulder and launched forward, to snatch the rifle out of Snafu’s hands before he grabbed him by the forearms. “Shelton, calm down! Calm down!”, he implored the squirming Snafu. “Come on, look at me!”</p><p>But he kept on trying to push Jay away and avoided his eyes, it was impossible to get him to look at him, to try and calm him down, even when his helmet slid off his head.</p><p>“Leave me alone! Don’t touch me!”, Shelton spew, nostrils flared, seemingly determined on going asiatic. </p><p>Jay started to panic, as Shelton began to slip out of his grip. He didn’t know what the other would do if he managed to break free, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do then. Bring Shelton down so he wouldn’t reveal their position? But how? How could he bring him down he couldn’t- no! He could never! Not at another Marine, not at his <em> friend </em>.</p><p>Shelton grunted and scratched and did about anything to break free from him and Jay just acted out of complete helplessness and reflex, when he let go of Shelton’s arms to instead wrap his arms around the other’s shoulders. He wrapped them tightly around Snafu’s trembling frame, so that his face was buried against Jay’s chest. It was more like holding him in a vice than an embrace.</p><p>At first that seemed to make it even worse, Snafu kept on shouting to leave him alone, but it was all muffled into Jay’s jacket and when Snafu landed a few painful punches against his ribs and stomach, he just clenched his teeth and let Snafu concede until he went completely limp in his arms a few seconds later.</p><p>All Jay heard after that was the deafening silence provided by the Marines around them for their stealth gun mission and his own heart thumping rapidly away in his ears, and he was sure Shelton could hear it too with his forehead pressed to Jay’s sternum.</p><p>What the fuck just happened? How in hell did Merriell “Snafu” Shelton end up in his arms? Jay averted his eyes upwards, almost pleading with anyone who was willing to listen.</p><p>Shelton wasn’t supposed to crack. He was a mean bastard, who otherwise wouldn’t even let anyone get closer to him than an arm's length. Shelton who furnished that version of himself that was so unbothered by everything, even the traumas of the war, that he wasn’t supposed to crack. Every other man, but not Snafu Shelton.</p><p>It didn’t matter, Jay did what had to be done. He helped one of his fellow Marines, like they were supposed to. You didn’t need to be one’s buddy to provide something like that. And even though Jay felt utterly out of his comfort zone he was certain he did the right thing for both him and Shelton and probably their whole platoon that would otherwise have been found out, if Shelton had kept on screaming.</p><p>The only true relief Jay felt was that Shelton most certainly didn’t cry, his shoulders didn’t shake in that telling manner and he didn’t sound like he was crying. He didn’t make a sound at all. Maybe he had calmed down, maybe Jay could release him from his vice like grip, he wasn't sure.</p><p>He wasn’t ashamed to admit to himself, in this emotional loaded moment, that back at home, he was the one who was comforted the most. With a loving mother and three older sisters he grew up unashamed of hugs and affection, but he never had to hug one of his male relatives or friends in this kind of way. It was a quick hug after a long period of not seeing each other or to one’s birthday, but other than that? He never had to comfort them and he clearly lacked the experience.</p><p>“You can let go of me now…”, Shelton spoke quietly into the little space between them. </p><p>Jay drew his arms away immediately and stumbled a step backwards to give them both a little more air to breath. Shelton stood still like Jay left him, head bowed, arms hanging limp to his sides, until one of his fists launched forward and punched Jay hard against the shoulder.</p><p>“Ouch!”, Jay squealed. </p><p>“Don’t ever do this again”, Shelton growled.</p><p>“You asshole!”, Jay grunted and rubbed the spot where Shelton had hit him. “Next time I let some Jap sniper get you!”</p><p>Shelton challenged him with a heated gaze but it disappeared from his face the next second and he seemed to deflate. He sunk into the mud, all contentiousness gone. Jay glanced quickly around, no sign of the enemy or any other Marine, before he lowered himself to the ground.</p><p>Snafu had his legs drawn up to his chest, almost resting his chin on his knees. He looked small again, like he did the night before when he had voiced his concerns so openly. It just hadn’t done him any good, he was still eaten alive by all his worries. </p><p>“Shit”, he pressed out hoarsely, a nervous chuckle swinging with it as he raked through his dark curls. “Shit, shit, shit.”</p><p>“Hey!”, Jay said, instantly alarmed. He stretched his hand out towards Sanfu but thought better of it and quickly withdrew it. The other still turned and looked at him. That was an improvement compared to right before when he wouldn’t react to Jay at all. “Don’t start… spiraling again.”</p><p>“I won’t!”, Snafu bit out and he quite literally launched forward like he was attempting to snap at Jay. But a man is a lot less intimidating or even scary when he was wrapped in your arms just moments ago so Jay didn’t even flinch. He just watched Snafu and his posture being all clammed up again, unapproachable. </p><p>But underneath all that Shelton’s sadness and despair was so obvious that Jay could almost feel it jumping over to him. When Shelton usually radiated annoyance and pugnacity and infected other people around him with it, it all had disappeared to make room for the real Merriell Shelton and the crippling sorrows that burdened him.</p><p>If Jay could just approach him, maybe a squeeze of the shoulder was all it would take, some warmness in a place that usually didn’t offer it and they’d both feel a little better. But Shelton was more difficult to approach than a wild wolf in the forest, Jay learned that much already. He needed to find a different way to coax him out of his shell. He couldn’t fulfill his duty all clammed up and, more importantly, it for sure wasn’t good for his own sanity.</p><p>When Jay had been a little boy he was extremely shy and admittedly, a lot of children are, but sometimes it was so extreme that he just hated to be seen, even as a five, six year old he wanted to be out of everybody's eyes just for a little while. He crawled under the space of their house then where it was relatively cool and smelled kinda moisty. His mother led him, she even argued with his father to just leave him be and not force him into anything. But eventually he had to come out, to eat or bath or go to bed. What she would do then, was humming a very special tune, just for Jay, that told him that his alone time had to be put on hold. And she hummed the melody for no one else but him and at no other occasion.</p><p>Sadly she never sang the words that got along with it and Jay never learned them, since his mother told him they were in French. He would never understand why his parents hadn’t taught their children the language. They wanted them to be able to speak without an accent but many children managed to speak two languages without an accent just fine. Jay heard it from the kids in his school whose parents came from South America. </p><p>Either way, he’d never forget his special tune and before he could even second guess himself he started humming the melody his mother always used when she wanted him to return to the real world.</p><p>At first nothing did happen, the night had arrived to its full darkness and everything around them was as quiet as before. Jay sat next to his buddy and was humming a tune from his childhood as if he was the one on the brink of going asiatic.</p><p>His voice wasn't as clear or pleasantly smooth as his mothers, but it still came out just fine. If Shelton wanted to, he could easily respond to it. If he <em>wanted </em> to… but it didn’t seem like it, it didn’t seem like-</p><p>Jay lost his cadence for a second as he heard a very low murmur next to him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fais dodo, Colas mon p'tit frère </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fais dodo, t'auras du lolo </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Shelton stopped mumbling the lyrics as Jay stopped humming and stared at him, his wide eyes catching the light of the moon. They said everything Jay needed to know: We won’t ever talk about this.</p><p>They stared at each other for a fleeting moment before Jay started humming again and Shelton cautiously resumed singing the lyrics. Of course they both kept as quiet as they could be. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maman est en haut </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Qui fait du gâteau </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Papa est en bas </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Qui fait du chocolat </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Some of the words sounded familiar and with Shelton prompting them, Jay was able to repeat them. Snafu sang in his low voice and his French that was heavily tinted with his southern dialect. Jay tried to follow his lead a few octaves higher, trying to make the words sound like he knew from his parents. </p><p>And so they sang the last verse together, until the tune was over and neither of them said a word.</p><p>He didn’t see Snafu cry that night, he never did. If he ever opened up that much in front of another human being then that role was reserved for someone other than Jay, but he saw his eyes swim as he looked at him and it didn't matter to Jay. Burgie was right, there was more to him than what meets the eye and when Jay looked into Shelton’s he was pretty certain he saw gratitude in them. </p><p>God knows they were all brave Marines, ready to fight for the right matters and in the name of their commanders, but Walt did nothing to encourage his men. He made them doubt why they were even there. He pushed them to lose it, like he did with Shelton and that was on him, not his Marines. One could say a lot about Shelton but he wasn’t a coward, he voiced his opinion and stood up for his friend. Not every man would dare to tell their commander that he was talking straight up bullshit. </p><p>A chuckle escaped Jay as the tension slowly fell off his shoulder and he ducked his head away.</p><p>Shelton let out a chuckle as well and nudged Jay with his elbow so the other would look at him again. </p><p>“Your French is garbage”, Snafu said, that shit-eating grin back on his face, the one Jay hadn’t seen since they left Australia.</p><p>“Asshole”, Jay huffed exaggeratedly, what even did he expect? He elbowed Shelton back until both of them were quietly laughing and Jay eventually had to lean back to catch his breath, his stomach hurting from all the laughter. He did not experience that kind of feeling for literal months, when his stomach had only hurt with worries. </p><p>It was so bizarre to sit there and laugh with Shelton, when he suffered something short of a breakdown just moments ago. War was a seemingly never ending limbo with its own twisted rules. Where a weapon belonged to a Marines side, just as much as his buddy and where there was relentlessness just like there was compassion. </p><p>“Your parents really never taught you?”, Snafu asked a little out of breath himself. </p><p>“No, sadly not. I can only understand it a little bit”, Jay answered. He couldn’t deny the slight jealousy he felt towards Snafu because he was able to speak French and Jay was not, even though Snafu’s French sounded almost nothing like his parents’. “Where do you know the song from?”</p><p>“My Maman sang it to me when I was little and then I sang it to my sister…”, Snafu answered, his voice quiet and sounding like his thoughts were far away. </p><p>Jay hummed to let him know that he heard him. His opinion on Snafu really changed a lot. He hoped the other somehow knew, that he didn’t mean it like Shelton wouldn’t return home, like he wouldn’t be able to provide a better life for his sister, when they argued back in the jungle. He really wanted for Shelton to get home and fulfill all his plans and wishes</p><p>“Let’s make a deal”, Shelton’s voice carried low through the air. “If we make it out of here alive, I’ll teach you some French. How does that sound?”</p><p>Jay mustered the man next to him. It actually sounded quite perfect, it sounded like Jay had managed to restore some of Snafu’s faith. Who knew if he was being serious, who knew if  they’d ever get the gun up here and beat the Japs, who knew if they’d ever get the time. They could easily return to being strangers sooner or later, but right now it was the silver lightning they needed, the goal in the future, that told them that there would be more peaceful times.</p><p>Shelton stretched his hand out for Jay to take it and Jay grasped it enthusiastically.</p><p>“Deal!”</p><p>They both squeeze each other's hand, followed by an awkward throaty laugh, until they let go of eachother. </p><p>Tomorrow the sun would rise again over the thicket of the jungle and they would be able to see the ocean. The same ocean Jay's sisters saw and it wouldn’t feel like home was all that far away. After all they carried a piece of it with them wherever they went and soon, Jay was certain, he’d see his home again and he’d watch the sun and the ocean together with his sisters. And maybe not immediately but eventually he’d tell them about this night, when he and his buddy found hope and comfort in each other and Jay’s little childhood tune.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>But before they got to see the sun again they had to make it through the night and that proved to be just as difficult as they'd imagined it. Save for Walt, who was the only one who got overly excited when a man from the 37mm squad reported back and told him that they were going for the last few meters. </p><p>For Walt that basically meant he already won the hill. He was almost jubilating when the gun’s barrel became visible as it made its way over the last serpentine. He gave orders for a section of the company to gather and guard the gun, to format behind it as soon as it stood securely on their ledge and execute the take-over of Aogiri Ridge.  </p><p>Walt’s enthusiasm wasn’t exactly contagious, it happened too much between him and the company for them to just blindly trust him that they’d conquer the Japanese. The Marines who had to execute his orders, knew that the real battle had just begun, if they’d start positioning and firing the 37mm gun.</p><p>Sadly that wasn’t even the biggest immediate concern, because the overburdened men who had pushed that thing for the last two or three hours couldn't keep it on track as the mud and the fatigue became overbearing at the last serpentine, the last ledge the gun had to cross.</p><p>It started to slip and threatened to fall down the hill. The men braced against the gun to prevent the worst, but they were exhausted and started to slip in the mud. They screamed for help, out of despair and it didn’t take long until the Japs were firing at them.</p><p>The men on the ledge were aghast at what was happening right before their eyes. If the gun fell so would their whole platoon. Walt shouted for them to jump the few feet down the ledge and to support the gun from behind, but no one even moved when the first Japanese bullets prasseled down on them. </p><p>A wail of pain filled the air and the gun slid down even further. “Man down, man down!”, screamed someone from behind the gun, followed by a “Oh God, were all going to die!” </p><p>The platoon stirred awake, but they didn’t follow Walt’s orders, they ran for cover in every direction, not even bothering with the gun. Walt tried to stop them but too many men started to panic to bring them back under control. Meanwhile the gun was slowly sliding down the hill.</p><p>Walt himself, in an approach of true leadership, rushed towards the ledge and jumped down to secure the gun, his gunner closely behind him. With the new manpower and Walt’s determination they managed to stop the gun from sliding any further, but with four of the gun squad members already deadly wounded, they needed more men to push it up.</p><p>Walt called once more for volunteers and all of sudden Shelton tugged hard on Jay’s jacket as he got up from their assigned position, where they had merely observed the terrible scene which was enacted in front of them. </p><p>“Come on!”, Shelton shouted over the firing and screaming of other men. Jay hesitated, he didn’t want to die, neither for Walt nor his stupid gun. And Shelton alone wouldn’t make him leave his cover.</p><p>Snafu seemed to sense that and so he cried: “Come on, Jay! For Burgie!”</p><p>Jay’s eyes widened, he was still down there, he hopefully was! He could as well be- No, no there had to be some kind of justice in war. If the good men like Burgie died, no war would be won for the good side. Men like him had to survive, it just had to be like that. And sometimes very mundane men, like Jay would call himself, or very dubious men, like Shelton, had to help the good men to succeed. </p><p>Jay gritted his teeth and scrambled to his feet, running after Snafu, down the ledge and behind the gun.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It did no one any good to question the decisions of a superior, they learned that much. But sometimes Burgie thought back to Aogiri Ridge and that night when a commander almost set them up for failure just for the sake of his own, fast won glory. He thought back on how he had sweat blood the whole way on the serpentines, but also the kind of relief he felt when he saw Snafu and Jay come running towards them to help hold the gun.</p><p>They suffered some more losses, but after other Marines followed Jay’s and Snafu’s lead, they finally managed to push the gun all the way up and bring it into position. They captured the hill, just the next day, to be precise. </p><p>Walt got a medal for his efforts on Aogiri Ridge, they even renamed it Walt’s Ridge. They didn’t rename anything Smith, or Javez, or Miller, all brave men who died for their course, under Walt’s command.</p><p>But it was useless to hold grudges, that wouldn’t bring any of the men back, they could just move on and win this war. And so Burgie tried to focus on the fact that both his friends were so eager to help him, that they were willing to risk their lives for him. Burgie felt really fortunate to have friends like this.</p><p>He was especially glad that Jay and Snafu started to get along. When Burgie decided to take the quiet kid with the firm set to his face under his wing, he had assumed he just needed a bit of protection. He wouldn’t have thought that Jay would grow so dear to him and he for sure didn’t predict that Jay and Snafu would grow close. </p><p>It didn’t take them that long to understand that Jay wasn’t quite the grey mouse, they thought he’d be, but that he was more of a rascal himself, if he got the chance. He was willing to laugh about all the crude jokes Snafu told him and ready to tell some of his own. </p><p>Jay’s true colors had been a bit of a surprise, just like Snafu’s had been. And they turned out to be two of his most trusted friends.</p><p>And it didn’t bother Burgie in the slightest that both of them started to mingle with the new replacements that had tried to claim the empty cots in their shared tent back on Pavuvu. </p><p>Which they had prevented, which again wasn’t all that nice, but as a veteran you had to take advantage of the little benefits this status offered you. One of those benefits definitely was the ability to scare the boots away so that they could enjoy a little more privacy. </p><p>And even <em>if </em> they scared them away, and even <em>if </em>Snafu had laughed obnoxiously loud over Jay’s dismissive comment about one of the kids, as they were shipped out to Peleliu, earning a grin and an elbow to his side from Burgie. They still were willing to help the new boots out and even befriend them.</p><p>Snafu, who always acted as if he hated every single person on the planet and would never make another friend in his life, even baptized one of them with a nickname of his own.</p><p>“Sledgehammer”, Burgie repeated Snafu’s words and looked over his shoulder, shooting Snafu a glance conveying something between amusement and an<em> I told you so </em>. “I like that.”</p><p>Snafu was just quick enough to catch his bottom lip between his teeth to conceal a grin, which otherwise would have broken over his face. The ginger kid, now named Sledgehammer, just looked at Snafu with his dark thoughtful eyes, until Snafu fell a few steps behind to start some banter with another boot. A short guy with blond hair and a rifle, who made up for his lack in size with a good amount of chutzpah, that even covered fretting with Shelton, much to Jay’s delight.</p><p>It was nice to have the new guys around. Yet another Southerner who was a bit more quiet like Burgie himself but bold enough to take it on with Shelton and to also tame him a little, as it seemed. And he appreciated the typical big mouth of the New Yorker who stood up to Snafu’s bugging personality, especially when he seemingly latched himself on to Jay, sharing foxholes with him, when the others were with the mortar section of the company. He managed to get Jay out of his head and Jay seemed really content to finally have a buddy on his own.</p><p>Sometimes Burgie just asked himself if he was a magnet for more or less odd characters, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He wasn’t just greatful for the company of the other men in dangerous situations, but also when they shared a laugh over stupid nicknames.</p><p>These small moments between the big - to be frank - quite terrible ones were what made it worth it to get up every morning and fight in this war. These moments consisted of recalling one’s home after the first battle in a foxhole, the relief of knowing that your buddies were with you on the battlefield and even better, seeing them relatively safe and sound after a victory. They consisted of the banter between his friends, the established ones and, hopefully, his new ones and the knowledge that something like friendship was possible and vital even in the worst of times.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!<br/>Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated &lt;3</p><p>The song Jay and Snafu sing is called “Fais dodo, Colas mon p'tit frère”. There are a lot of awful versions of this song on YT, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id9FRjUx8t8">this is the best one imo</a>. I thought it’d be super easy to find a French lullaby/children’s song but it was not! The text is not super deep or anything lol, I landed on this because the melody is pretty and “Fais dodo” also holds a meaning and place in Cajun culture so it somehow fits the characters :-)</p><p>I included a teeny-tiny glimpse at deleyden/sledgefu because of one of my recipients' other prompts, but one can totally just read it as friendship!</p><p>Title is a line from the song "Roll It Over" by Oasis :^)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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